Munger Diaries III- Mungeristan International Airlines!

In a recent order passed by the government of Mungeristan, it has been decided to launch a national air carrier to facilitate transportation of people and animals across great distances. The last venture of the Transport Ministry of the government of Mungeristan, the 'Bhola Bullock Cart Travels' was a raging success, and the government expects the same result from the national airlines.

1. The national airlines will be called Chidiya International Airlines. The logic behind the name is fairly simple and quite obvious- Like a chidiya in the sky, the aircraft will fly for miles and miles till it reaches its destination. The national animal of Mungeristan- Bhola the Bull, will be mascot of the airlines, symbolizing warmth, hospitality and the fact that the passengers, like the Bull itself will constantly have something to chew on...

2. The airlines will transport Mungeri nationals to exotic locations... The government of Mungeristan is yet to finalize the cities between which the airlines will operate, but grapevine has it that there will be uninterrupted connectivity between Munger & Kampala (Uganda), Munger & Dhaka, Munger & Danapur and Munger & Jhumritalaiyya... Mungeristan's only International airport will be constructed at Sitakund, Munger, on the banks of the river Ganges. This would make for an excellent view. The airport will be at a distance of 2 kms from the national capital, Mungerabad...The government has also decided to prosecute anyone who throws stones at the aircrafts from atop their huts while the planes are in descent.

3. A set of 6 crew members has been finalized for each aircraft. It would include the following

a. The Pilot (Qualifications: 12th Pass & an LMV Drivers' License from the government of Mungeristan)

b. Assistant Pilot (Qualifications: 10th pass & Bullock Cart Drivers' License from the government of Mungeristan)

c. Cook (Qualifications: Education no bar, should know how to cook the following items: Sattu ki roti, Litti Chokha, Bhindi ki Sabzi and Nimbu ka Achaar)

d. Air Hostess 1 ( Qualifications: Education no bar, should be beautiful (waist size< 36" , fair complexion and no grey hair), should be well conversant in one of the following languages-

i. Bhojpuri (must)
ii. Nepali
iii. Ugandan
iv. Santhali

e. Air Hostess 2 (Qualifications: At least 6th pass, dark complexion would do, should be able to assist cook in preparation of items, should have a mellifluous voice and be able to sing Bhojpuri numbers)

f. Security Officer (Qualifications: 6th pass, should have a moustache, should weigh more than 78 Kgs, should be capable of wielding a lathi, should be well versed with Bhojpuri gaalis)

4. Protocols to be followed-

a. All passengers to be smeared with a tilak upon arrival at the airport
b. Unnecessary hassles such as check in to be done away with; Passengers to carry their luggage till the airport exit where they can load their baggages on to a waiting bullock cart
c. No animals to be allowed on the craft. Sole exception to be made in case of cows/bulls/bullocks & Oxes. Dogs are to be allowed if they are a family i.e. 1 Dog & 1 Bitch & minimum 2 puppies
d. Rice to be thrown at passengers when they board the craft. Rice throwing ceremony to be accompanied by Singing of Mungeri national anthem "Hamra Pyaara Mungeristan" by Air Hostess 2.
e. Ganga Water to be served to passengers once they are seated. Passengers to be provided with a towel to clean up, in case they suffer from air sickness.
f. Passengers to be given a choice of meals : Litti Chokha/ Sattu ki roti/ Pyaaz, Namak & Roti
g. Airhostess 2 to sing a Bhojpuri Item number while meals are being served. Passengers are to be encouraged to join in singing. Dancing is to be tolerated.
h. No alcoholic beverages to be served during the flight. Only exception to be made in case passengers are carrying their own Desi Tharra
i. Once the plan begins descent, Airhostess 2 is to start chanting "Raghupati Raghav". Passengers are to be encouraged to join in. Dancing is not to be tolerated
j. Once the plane lands, air fare is to be collected from all passengers at the flat rate of Mungeri Rs. 250 per pair of legs

Here is hoping that the Mungeristan International Airlines does well.