Cricekting Foibles!

The year is 1996... A 10 year old boy is sitting in front of the TV. World Cup Cricket'96 is on... Today is the big day...Semi Final Match between India and Sri Lanka at Eden Garden... What a day it has been.... A splendid beginning by India... Sri Lanka are 2/3... This indeed is India's day... The little boy jumps with joy for every wicket that falls...and boos out loud for every four that is hit...Every now and then he prays for the Indian Victory....It is indeed a big day...Sri Lanka settle for 251... Competitve, yes...But what the hell...India had just trounced Pakistan in the Quarter Finals (and that too spectacularly!)....Sri Lanka can't possibly stop India!!!...And India begin to chase....And then the dream becomes a nightmare!... Tendulkar is playing, but the rest of them just keep coming and going... The young boy is saying his prayers furiously now.. He can't believe it! this is a riot!.... And it was a riot that finally saved India from losing all out!.... The match was called off... India had lost... Kambli was crying on the pitch... and theYoung boy was weeping in his heart...

He swore He'd never see any more matches... They were nothing but a waste of time...and anyways... India always lost... Those losers didn't deserve to be viewed!.... And he held on steadfast to his promise....He skipped World Cup'99 when the rest of the world was going gaga over it... And later he thanked his stars for having saved him from the agony....And then came World Cup'03.. The young boy is now 18 years old... India is once again on the winning spree.... Once again he is glued on to the TV set... Board Exams be damned.... India winning the world cup happens only once in a lifetime...And this was the time... The emotions were more restrained this time.. There was no jumping for ever run scored or crying out loud for every wicket lost... But the adrenaline was flowing... The whole atmosphere was charged....This was India's time.... India would surely win... And there it was... World Cup'03 finals... India Vs Australia.... This is all it came down to....And disaster struck once more....The 33 million Indian Gods in the skies above couldn't rescue India as it was shoved, pushed and Kicked away from the World Cup Trophy by the Kangaroos...The young man swore to never watch Cricket once more... Only this time he would stand by it...Forever....

The young boy himself was never a Cricketing Genius... He bowled mostly Wides and No Balls... His Over usually lasted 10 balls.... At times, his team mates would ask him to bowl a Baby over... But then He'd astonish them with his accuracy, to the extent they'd ask him to bowl the rest of the over and then he'd return to his usual style of balling (no balls, wides and a lot of runs).... His Fielding was much worse though... He was never able to see the ball that high in the air... Balls destined for his cupped hands would usually fall between them.. He'd jump and dive but the rolling ball would be still a mile away....He stood close in the gully to harass the batsman, but it was the batsman's shots that mostly harassed him!.... His Batting was legendary... He was adept at those ones and twos.... but any attempt at a six, would land the ball in the fielder's ever welcoming hands... Several times he was caught in the peculiar situation of rescuing the team from certain annihilation... but unfortuantely he mostly led the path to it!... He played and he failed... He played more, hoping for some heroic transformation of his Cricketing skills...But nothing did ever happen... Slowly he quit!

What can I say?.. Perhaps, only that I failed Cricket and Cricket failed me!

Subbu!

This post is dedicated wholly and solely to the biggest tyrant in the history of this democratic nation- Subbu... As the countdown to the last few days at the college ticks off, here is a trip down the memory lane, with exclusive focus on Subbu and Subbuisms...

1. Subbu doesn't like to be wished Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening. If however you choose to do so, you are wholly ignored while he walks past you, his lips pursed, and his face expressionless...
2. Subbu loves to act pricey in his cabin... he'll have you summoned there and then rave and rant over a non-issue.... If you try to put your point across, He'll shut his ears and yell...I don't wanna hear it! Get lost! You've flunked!
3. Subbu loves to do his theatrics in front of an audience.... He'd use the choicest words to insult and humiliate... These words can be as plain as a**hole, Idiot etc. or may take teh form of more complex sentences like "Where are your balls?", "GPL padna chahiye" etc. etc.
4. Subbu has an emotional spying network. What I mean by that is, no sooner do you feel elated about something that you get the much dreaded call from Subbu... These sessions end with phrases like" You are flunking"..."Get out of this college"... "Stop Bullshitting here"...
5. Subbu, not unlike our beloved Bush, comes up with phraseologies that are unique to his person.. So, Post summers, SCMHRD became an "Academy", where talent was being nurtured, and wherefrom you'd be expelled, if your performance was shoddy...
6. One fine day, when you get selected for a committee, you go visit Subbu as a formality... He asks you "Where are your pants?".... Lookin down really doesn't help.... I can bet even he doesn't know what he means!
7. Another time, a US Academician is being given a tour of the college... She is told that the budget of NEEV is $5 mn...We readily concur in front of the guest...Later calculations prove that dear beloved Subbu has dropped a zero!
8. Another comic incident happened when a prominent corporate leader visited the campus... Subbu in order to please this prominent guest, called a batch meet where he demanded a bunch of beautiful girls who'd wear backless and parade themselves in front of the guest!....That fortunately didn't happen, but Subbu made sure there were enough coconuts on the stage so that the guest could relate to his corporation...
9. If Subbu was anything to go by, Britannia would have by now become a part of ITC ltd...
10. Once during Diwali break, a team of people were hanging around in the NEEV room... Subbu drops in for a long chit chat.. Goes back to his cabin and returns a little while later, with a 1.5L bottle of Pesi, which he jovially throws at the tiniest member of the team... Poor soul survived as did her ribs!
11. One has to be present at Subbu's batch Meets to appreciate his focus on Learning and how he enforces it... Suffice it to say that it is insanely funny!
12. Subbu is the smartest during the Placement Season.... Perfectly-coiffured hair, Drak shirt that makes his skin tone look lighter, a pair of trousers that don't get along with his shirt and long pointed shoes...Subbu glides along from corridor to corridor, room to room, trying to lure the recruiters into take in a couple more!

There certainly is lots more to dear old Subbu and his Subbuisms...Can't think of anymore right now.. Do chip in if you can remember more!

The night!

It was a cold dark December night..The kind of ones that you normally witness in North India...There were no street lights, and there was no trace of human life on the street... Most sane people would be cosy in their quilts at this time of the day...Incidentally, there were no street lights as well.... It was pitch dark... And all I could see were the distant lights in a room some distance away... It was not a lot of distance to travel... Hardly half a kilometre...And the street wasn't new to me either.... I'd been travelling on this street for a year now, albeit always on a vehicle... It was probably the first time I'd be walking on this street at night...

At some distance, I could see several pairs of eyes staring at me... Their was this viciousness in the look and I shivered momentarily... They seemed to be discussing something in hushed voices.. I could barely hear anything, but it didn't seem right...Anyways, there was no other way to reach my place and I decided to march forth...A couple of steps later, I could still see nothing more than the blazing eyes, but I could tell that the 'eyes' were still ferociously debating something... I could feel them huffing and puffing...At times, a faint wisp of winter mist would escape from their lips...

I journeyed forth, more scared now... the momentary shivering had now become persistent trembling... I tried to rationalize with myself..It was only the cold...It must be getting colder with the night... By now, I had reached the 'eyes'. I stared at them and they stared back at me... A long piercing glance... Some of them now bared their teeth, de-formed, pointed at the ends...The kinds that would haunt you in your nightmares... One of them now came close to me... It seemed to be smelling something... And it was making these faint noises...The kind that are made by mad men... It was whispering something under its breath... I couldn't tell what it was... I was reminded of school lessons, Ignore and Walk ahead.... And thats what I did....

A couple of steps later, I looked back... And all of them were tailing me... The one that had been trying to smell something was leading them all... My heartbeat quickened.. My steps gained pace involuntarily... It was as if I was breaking into an involuntary sprint... The 'eyes' gained speed too.. The one at the end was now practically running... I could see the guard of my building compund now.... I could even see my home... Only a couple of more steps now...

No sooner had this thought flashed into my mind, that I started running...The 'eyes' behind me now raised their war cry... The whimper now broke into a howl.... A long screeching howl... Boooo-Wow-wow--Booo.... I turned back to see that the one closest to me was now baring its fangs... And there was drool dripping from its tongue... I yelled, and leapt into the compound... And fell...Rolled into a mound of dust...And survived!

The dogs, though, mercifully stayed at the gate... Staring hungrily, their howls having once again been reduced to a faint whimper... The guard was waving his lathi at those wretched creatures...And they seemed to have fallen in line... Off they went waving their tails... Perhaps in search of another victim.. Perhaps to kill another....

Taliban Ahoy!

Pakistan has touched one more landmark in its endeavor to establish itself as a failed state. In a remarkable agreement, the militant Taliban and the central government have agreed to cease hostilities in the troubled NWFP. And how has Pax Pakistana come about? By the transfer of more territories into the hands of the extremists. In a grand gesture, the Pakistani establishment has decided to hand over the Malakand Agency to the Pakistani Taliban. The renegades, led by one Maulana Fazlullah were only too happy to formally receive the territory, which has been under their control for almost 2 years now. And who was the government representative who brought about this giant step towards peace? , It was none other than the estranged father in law of Fazlullah,who himself had been behind bars for years for abetting hostilities in the neighbouring Afghanistan against the international coalition. The picturesque Swat valley, often described as Pakistan's Switzerland, and which has for the past several years been a mute spectator to bloodletting and violence is at the heart of this transfer. As per the pact, the writ of the state of Pakistan will no longer run in these areas and the Sharia will be strictly implemented. So, what does this decision mean for Pakistan, India and the rest of the world?

For Pakistan-

For Pakistan, it is one step closer to certain disaster. Clearly, the civilian adminsitration is unable to handle the pressures imposed on it by the existing internal and external circumstances. And in its haste to sustain iotself, it is taking measures which can not even be described as short term. Malakand is only one more area to fall out of the grasp of the state. As far as the Pakistani extremists are concerned, they'd know now to twist the arms of the government and get away with everything they want. As they say, Swat today, Islamabad tomorrow. Incidentally, Swat is not one of those remote areas of Pakistan, it is situated at a mere 160 Kms from Islamabad, in the heart of Pakistan. This victory for the extremists has been met with disapproval by the liberal educated middle class, who view the development as a threat to the existence of the state as they know it.

For India-

This is the closest that the Taliban have ever gotten to Indian border. Merely 430 Kms from Wagah, The Taliban are perhaps as far from India, as Delhi is from Jabalpur. This is ione reason that the news from across the border has been met with sharp reactions from the MEA. India has pinned all its hopes for a curtailment of terrorist activities as well as the resolution of the Kashmir dispute on a functioning civil administration in Pkaistan. If the experiment in democracy fails yet again, India would face an extremely hostile enemy in the form of an alliance between the rabidly anti-India army establishment and the Jehadis. For now, there is little that India can do directly except perhaps put international pressure on Pakistan to flush the Jehadis out of NWFP.

For the rest of the world-

Victory of the extremists in Pakistan in any ways would imply a severe blow to the on going anti-Taliban operations in Afghanistan. The resurgent Taliban in Afghanistan would receive a big boost in the form of an extremist regime across the Durand Line. And failure in Afghanistan would be too costly a proposition for the West as well. Were Taliban to be allowed to re-take Kabul, it would directly contribute to the proliferation of a world-wide terror network, the sieges and the battles of which would not be fought in the inhospitable terrains of central asia but in the heart of the civilized world.

In short, the international community should do all that it takes to prevent Pakistan from committing Harakiri and control the meanace of the extremists operating from its own territories. The proposition of a failed Pakistan would be too expensive a cost for India and the rest of the world!

Of Dilli

Ye hai Dilli Meri Jaan
Of dusty winds that from the deserts blow
Of the monsoons that bypass dilli and go
Of the bone chilling cold that the Winters bring
Of the flowers that bloom only in the Spring

Ye hai Dilli Meri Jaan
Of the roads that are cluttered with traffic jams
Of blaring music and honking from the vans crammed
Of hit and run cases that make big news
Well, at least the roads are wide, is the common view

Ye hai Dilli Meri Jaan
Of the blue lines that are smeared with blood
Of the great nullah of Yamuna that in monsoons does flood
Of no electricity that leaves all stranded in the dark
Of the CNG and the Greenery and the numerous parks

Ye hai Dilli meri jaan
Of a city so ancient and so seeped in time
Of the old Qilas that tower over a city still in its prime
Of the culture,of the people who never rest
That's why I tell you, my Dilli is the best!

Of opium and the masses!

Ever wondered why religion, in spite of all the denigrations, ridicule, slander and malice, continues the single most unifying and at the same time the single most divisive force as far as the human race is concerned. History is replete with tales of millions of people sacrificing their own lives to uphold their faith and at the same time, slaying all those who they believed were infidels. For every Jihadi who murders to avenge his God, there is a soldier, who marches unarmed into the battlefield, facing certain death, only to protect his honor and his faith.

Till perhaps recent times (a century back), religion was beyond question. To question the authenticity of God, or the means to reach him, was to be ostracized and forever cut off. Europe found the Church's supremacy suffocating in the 16th-17th century. India found the Social Hierarchy sanctioned by Religion overbearing and claustrophobic. Different societies found different solutions to deal with the 'menace' of religion.

Men of letter believed Religion discouraged, rather, impeded knowledge and bred ignorance. The communists belived that there was no place for a decadent, decaying religion. The soviets worked on this ideal and propounded that there was no God, but man himself. The Chinese Communists detested the religion that had made them grovel and beg and catered solely to the social hierarchy. Since the late 16th Century, Religion has in multiple ways, been reviled, criticized and blamed for all ills of the society. Then, what is it that still pulls people to religion like a bee to nectar?

I believe, above all, it is Security. The security that one achieves from being a part of a larger group. The kind of common goals and aims perhaps form an essence of this feeling of 'security'. There is always something relatable to this group, in terms of likes, dislikes etc. etc. Another reason is perhaps the belief in ultimate good. That is to say, even after being wronged, one has the faith that one day, justice will be done. In several religions, this manifests itself, in the form of a final judgment, when all wrongs shall be accounted for. And Finally, religion is an expression of culture, and to multitudes, it is the culture that pulls them to religion...

Karl Marx may have said, and all fervent communists would readily agree to it, Religion is the Opium of the Masses, but perhaps, it is best to leave the masses tolerably intoxicated!