Votenama

Well, the last of the votes have been counted and the verdict is crisp and clear... It is a resounding win for the Congress led United Progressive Alliance and a severe drubbing for the BJP led NDA and the Communist led Thrid Front....The farcical rag tag alliance of foes turned friends calling themselves the Fourth Front has been eliminated as a politically relevant force. So, as the Political Parties count their gains and mourn their losses, here is a why's why of who won/lost where and how-

1.) The electorate has overwhelmingly voted to retain a Centrist Alliance that represents the needs and the aspirations of this diverse nation the best. The Congress with a 200+ tally has received a resounding verdict for governance from the nation

2.) The NDA with Narendra Modi as its PM in waiting and the Mandir Idol LK Advani as the PM has been completely decimated. This is BJP's worst showing in the Lok Sabha since 1991 when it won 120 seats. Varun Baba's 'Chopping hands' speech may have helped the BJP retain Pilibhit but has certainly cost them dearly.

3.) Nitish Kumar's JD(U) has razed Laloo's Caste Castle in Bihar. Laloo finds himself Politically irrelevant in the 15th Lok Sabha. Even more surprising is the fate of Bihar Strongman Ram Vilas Paswan who lost his own seat and who unlike Laloo did not contest from another seat.

4.) Amma's belated sympathy with Lankan Tamils did not endear the electorate to her. DMK has retained its grip over Tamil Nadu.

5.) MamtaDi has emerged as the CommieKiller. The Left finds its Red bastion in Bengal in shambles.The Mahajot has finally trounced the sickle and the hammer. The left has the lowest ever tally in the Lok Sabha!...

6.) Even Royalty in the form of Vasundhara Raje couldn't save the BJP from the drubbing it has received at the hands of the resurgent Congress.

7.) Chiru, KSR and Chandrababu troika only helped the Congress retain power in AP and contribute to its Lok Sabha Kitty.

8.) The Shankh has been sounded in Orissa where the victorious BJD has returned to power stronger than even before. The myth of BJP-RSS power in that state has been shattered. BJP even lost Kandhamal, where the anti Christian riots were supposed to have resulted in a Hindutva Wave

9.) Delhi has once again been swept by the Congress inspite of BJP fielding several strong candidates. BJP finds itself challenged in even its strongholds in the city.

10.) And yes, the electorate has stated clearly that Caste Politics can only take one so far.... Behenji's dreams to become India's next PM or at least the King Maker proved as illusory as Advani's dream to lead the nation!

Political Melodies...

What the Election Commission is telling the voters

Aaja ve mahi tera rasta ho dekhdiya
Dar se hatti nahin nazar aaja
Aaja dil ki pukar par aaja
Der karna teri aadat thi sahi
Der se hi sahi magar aaja
Aaja ve mahi tera rasta ho dekhdiyan



What the Election Commission is telling the Politicians-

Sajan re jhooth mat bolo
Khuda ke paas jana hai
Naa Haathi hai
Naa ghoda hai
Wahan paidal hi jaana hai


What are the politicians telling the voters-

O... Naa Jaa Mere baadshah
Ek waade ke liye
Ek waada todkar
Khuda ka tujhe wasta
Lautakar Aanaa Teraa
Dekhungi Main Raastaa


What are the voters singing-

Arrey jhoot Bole Kauva Kaate,
Kaale Kauve Se Darriyo
Main Maike Chali Jaaoongi,
Tum Dekhte Rahiyo


What are the voters who are planning to exercise 49 (O) saying-

Accha silaa diya tuney mere pyaar ka
Ho... Accha Silaa diya tuney mere pyaar ka
Yaar ne hi loot liya ghar yaar ka....
Mere Pyaar Wale Sabhi Phool Murjhaaye
Kaante Hi Khizaon Wale Mere Hisse Aa gaye
Raas Na Aaya Mujhe Sapna Bahaar Ka
Yaar Ne Hi Loot Liya Ghar Yaar Ka


What the EVMs are saying-

Honthon mein aisi baat main dabaake chali aayi
Khul jaye wohi baat to duhaayi hai duhaayi
Haan re haan,
baat jismein pyaar to hai,
zaher bhi hai
Haan....

The Preamble

WE, THE POLITICIANS OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a FEUDAL PAROCHIAL COMMUNAL LAWLESS FIEFDOM and to secure to all its citizens:

OPPRESSION, social, economic and political;
RESTRICTION of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;
DISCRIMINTAION in status and in opportunity;
and to promote among them all
DIFFERENCES assuring the primacy of the political class over the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation;

IN OUR CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY this tenth day of May, 2009, do HEREBY ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO OURSELVES THIS CONSTITUTION.

The ABC of Indian Politics..

A	Akhand Bharat	The Saffron Concept of reuniting all of Indian Subcontinent under Hindu rule
	Amma	Amma who has made many a seasoned politician cry rivers of blood and agony…Madras ki Rani Amma
B	Behenji	Refers to the PM hopeful and the self-proclaimed ‘Messiah’ of the oppressed
C	Chanakya	His treatise which expounds on many Machiavellian concepts has been shamelessly exploited by our politicians
D	Dravidian Politics	Refers to Parties that are more concerned about what happens in Sri Lanka than in their own states
E	EVMs	The state of the art Electronic Voting Machines that make our Election system ‘Oh-so cool’
F	Fire Arms	Their sales rises exponentially during the election season thanks to the extra demand from UP, Bihar etc.
G	Godhra	The latest riots related case which is expected to remain a poll-issue for at least a century
	Gandhi	The dynasty which has claimed all rights to govern this nation till perpetuity
H	Hindutva	The raison d’ etre of the saffron block... The Indian version of supremacy
I	Indecision	The biggest strength of any Indian Politician… Postpone till tomorrow what thou must do today... as the old adage goes
J	Jantantra	The tantra is horribly flawed and the jan are disillusioned
K	Kalyan Singh	Hindutva Poster Boy, now hell bent on digging BJP’s grave
L	Laloo	Hum keh raha hoon… Agla PM toh hum hi banega
M	Mamtadi	The sorrow of Bengal
N	Narendra Modi	The butcher of Gujarat...Opposition’s envy, BJP’s pride!
O	Omar Abdullah	The suave 3rd Generation leader of Kashmir’s first family… Another of those Youth Leaders
P	Pilibhit	Place that witnessed Varun Gandhi’s claim to fame speech
Q	Qaid-e-Azam	Almost caused L K Advani’s downfall…Almost!
R	Rahul Gandhi	India’s most eligible Bachelor… The PM in waiting
S	Sonia Gandhi	The Italy born, Indian bahu
T	Terrorism	The biggest threat to India and Indianness
U	UPA	(Dis)United (Anti)Progressive (Mes)alliance
V	Vote	Something that most Indians refrain from doing
W	West Bengal	The only planet where a breed called Communists thrive
X	Xenophobia	Refers to the policies of Parties such as MNS and Shiv Sena that make Indians foreigners in their own country!
Y	Yaadasht	Something that all Politicians lack… Once elected all promises are forgotten is the case in point
Z	Zillions	Of Public Money that goes down the drain in the exercise called elections…