Wednesday, September 29, 2010

All in God's name!



18 years ago, one fine winter morning, a group of religious zealots/activists (depending on which side you support) brought down an old decrepit structure which had been under lock and key until very recently, provoking a series of deadly riots that this nation on fire. Communal discord isn't exactly new to India, I mean, that is what we are known for... That is why India and Pakistan came into existence, but since 1947, till 1992, riots were usually confined to one city or a state and were swiftly brought under control, if the government of the day felt the need. All of this changed in 1992... The destruction of the Mosque provoked a wave of communal unrest that took weeks to control and forever altered the socio-cultural fabric of the country.

I don't think it is fair to question the assumption, as is the practice among modern secular-liberal classes, if Lord Ram was born in Ayodhya or if indeed he was a "real" person. I think it is grossly unfair to treat the Hindus as a rag tag group of superstitious silly people whose beliefs need not be valued since they are not a cohesive group. Likewise, India is not a Hindu nation, inspite of an obvious Hindu majority and accordingly, it is absolutely detestable to suggest that one can ride roughshod over the sentiments of a minority community by demolishing Mosques/Gurudwaras/Churches. All this having been said, the courts are all set to deliver a verdict that will most probably deepen the fissures that already exist between the Hindu and Muslim communities. The Administration sits in a state of suspended animation, expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

The question I wish to ask is, Is it all really worth it? I mean, I for one, refuse to believe that any Hindu God would choose to reside in a place that is the source of so much bloodshed and misery. Likewise, Allah for sure would have forsaken a place that represents Hell on earth. Being able to Install a few idols and worshipping them or reconstructing the Mosque might imply symbolic victory for either community, but in spiritual terms, does it really mean anything? Probably, all Indians would be benefitted better if there were a hospital/orphanage/civic center constructed in its place. I am sure,even God would dwell  in such a place. Let bygones be bygones... A Ram temple was demolished by a Muslim invader who constructed a Mosque in his own name which was destroyed by Hindu reactionaries more than 5 centuries later. Historical wrongs (if that is what they are) have already been "righted". A temple to Ram anywhere else, would honour his majesty and grandeur equally.... So would a Mosque in Kashmir or Kerala.

It is time to grow up and cognize for who we are. We are not Rwandans or some silly West African tribe, forever baying for Blood. We are not Hindus, or Muslims or Christians or Sikhs. We are the progenies of a proud tribe of people who made their mark on the world stage. We are the inheritors of a proud, glorious and a cultured past. And we owe it to our future generations to keep it that way.

Jai Hind!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Chill Maadi- An extract from Kalmadi's daily diary

Dear Diary

I am so pissed at that good for nothing Fennel today... How dare he say that the conditions at the CWG Village were unfit for human habitation! I have been there at least 53 times, and I have always seen daily labourers blissfully urinating, defecating or sleeping in those rooms. Why, at least 7 of the 223 "Paan Pichkaris" were made by me when I was competing with Mr. Gill... Ah! What a glorious moment that was, it won me some 200 rupees as well!... So how dare Fennel say that the conditions at the village were unhygienic!!! I mean a couple of stray dogs here and there might have pooped (in the western style lavatories, mind you!), all that these firangs need to do was to flush it!... I mean do they really need to stare at the shithole!

Personally I feel, we should leave the commonwealth... I mean, Pratibha Patil is as good as Queen Elizabeth... And enough of these foreign white-skinned rascals!, don't they act pricey... lets invite the Africans, possibly some pacific states, add Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Afghanistan to the list... And Brava! There you have it... A superb international assembly of the finest sportspersons in the world!... Plus, India will have a real good chance to finally win some medals...And, they won't mind relieving themselves in Sulabh Shauchalayas or even in the nature... We can feed them rotis and pyaaz and they'll be over the moon!....

I don't know why the media still hates me.... I mean, I've not taken any bribes for 2 whole days now, and even as I write this, I am refusing to take a 2% cut in supremely overpriced tissue paper rolls and yet they continue to spew venom against me! So what if I made a couple of millions of rupees... Don't I deserve it? A man my age must be taken care of by the government, and here I am... Going from vendor to vendor... Contractor to contractor... artificially inflating prices... devising the formulae for commission, ensuring all ministers' relatives get some contracts and yet they blame ME!... How unfair can the world be!

So what the tiles fell from the ceiling the other day, or the collapse of the footbridge... Is it really that big a deal.... Who is going to notice 2 missing tiles! and how about crossing the road for a change!... Why do you need the overbridge? These delhiites too get on my nerves...especially that old hag... Sheila Dixit... Does she have nothing better to do than sit and supervise MY work?... How about applying ointment to her arthritic knees... I gave her full 30% of my earnings and yet she criticizes me... And that ageing bearded buffoon... He's already clipped my wings enough and yet he continues to entertain my foes!... I thought he belonged to my Party!

Last of all, let me spend one paragraph expressing my hatred towards Mani Shankar Aiyer!... That clown revealed my plan to the world even as I was hatching it and all because I wouldn't give let him win the "Paan ki Pichkari" contest! Had it not been for him, I wouldn't have had to start behaving efficiently so soon... I'd probably even have made a couple of million more rupees!

Anyways... I have done my bit for the glory of the erstwhile British Empire... God save the Queen and her Commonwealth....

Suresh Kalmadi