I Remember!

1.Stepping foot in Room No. 923 on the 8th June 2007 at 8:00 P.M and finding out that my ‘roomies to be’ were just returning from classes…. I remember the first question that propped in my mind since entering SCMHRD…. Why so late?!

2.Midnight, 17th June 2007, when ‘then-unknown’ Todi and Majhi took it upon themselves to hand out birthday bumps…. I still remember Todi’s forceful kick and his innocent comment to my agony…. “Dheere se hi toh maara tha” or something!...

3.18th June 2007, when everyone sang “Happy Birthday” in the MicroEco class… The professor, the elderly Joglekar even presented me with a Ravalgon!


4.Sleeping early by 10:30-11:00 P.M…. That was my refuge from all the hustle-bustle, studies and apparent friendlessness… I remember people streaming in and streaming out all the time and observing aloud “Itni Jaldi kyun so jata hai ye?”! ….

5.Trying to predict the first FCQ that was to happen… Such a scientific and advanced system based on what subtle hints may have unintentionally been dropped by certain professors… I remember the decision to study ERP, which turned out right and then struggling with it till about 30 mins before the FCQ, when Ajay D’Souza explained to me what ERP was, en route to the college…. Thanks to him, I did not have a backlog in the first FCQ!


6.Getting up early at 5:30-6:00 A.M and rushing to the gym, where I would lift no weights above 5 Kgs, the Aerobics hall, where I would ensure that my hand/leg movements were as small as possible and Yoga hall where I would struggle with the way hands and legs had to be intertwined with each other…

7.Dozing off in classes… Initially this was not as blatant as it subsequently became… It was more of stupor reigning, eyelids drooping half way and my hand writing becoming an illegitimate scrawl….


8.Man Acc Mid Term and the struggle to pass somehow…. Thankfully, the Passing criteria changed suddenly from 50% to 70% of class average… I passed!

9.Phatak and his O.R classes… My love for Maths and my pride at being good at Maths was washed away in every single class


10.Running away to Mumbai to friends, and discovering that the world was still a normal place, and there were people doing stuff beyond assignment and studies… I remember having to rush back early morning on the 4th to attend back to back Phatak Lectures! I genuinely feared that otherwise my attendance would fall short!...

11.Summer Placements…. I remember GSK (Left is right!!!) and getting rejected… Then making it through Reckitt Benkiser, and being told by Subbu just before the HUL interview that I had made it through a company better than HUL!.... I remember ITC and the ‘nautanki’ that Subbu made me do! .....


12. First Sem exams and the dread of flunking every other paper…. I remember First Sem Exams getting over…. The trip to Mumbai…. The flight home… And FREEDOM!

13.Nibiru… The sheer amount of hard work and efforts that went into it… The entire song and dance show… And the question by Luke Kenny “ So, what’s the point? “ ….


14.First meeting of NEEV’08…. I remember the meetings that went into deciding the theme… The time between and after exams, when we would sit and start working on the brochure…

15.My first official backlog in the form of Man Acc internals… I had happily dropped 0s/ added 0s in all my calculations…


16.15th March 2008… When the mail from ITC detailing project and location finally came…. I remember reading MUNGER…. And searching on the map how to get there….!

17.Munger…. The parties… The work… The workers… The bungalows… the Swimming Pool… The tennis Court…!

18.Haldiram Pitch… D.S Group Pitch…Spykar Pitch… Siemens’ Corporate Finance pitch…. Common Wealth Pitch… I remember SHRM getting converted!

19.Random PPTs to entice the junior batch to work for NEEV… I remember our exasperation with NEEV’08 juniors, “THE MEETING” with juniors where we yelled at each other…

20.Topping ManAcc Backlog…. And flunking in Leadership internals! …


21.NEEV’08…Mumbai Blasts…. The banner coming down from the A Hostel… Sleeping at 4 AM and getting up at 8 AM to decide whether or not NEEV is happening…

22.29th November 2008- Schizorama and 30th November 2008- NEEV’08 closing ceremony….Subbu yelling at me and Samleen for having insulted the Chief Guest…the PPT Fiasco et al!


23. Harihareshwar and Diveagar trip… Discovering that there existed a life beyond NEEV!.... I remember the wound scratching incident… The camera in the water incident and the Pari singing incident in the middle of the night incident!

24.Sinhgad, Shirdi, PIFF,Bhimashankar, Theatre classes and all … !

Limericks!

1.There was this pretty Scottish Lass
Who was unhappy about her ass
She went to the doctor and beg she did
Help me of this bum get rid

The doctor guffawed, now that is crass!

2.There was a bather went to the beach
In tiny clothes that looked so kitsch
The strong wind that blew that day
Took all her clothes away

Don’t go dressed like this, her father beseeched!

3.In the state of Madras
Everything was made solely of brass
When Nair went to buy a condom
He was handed out a brass drum

Oh No he said…I will get a rash!

4. There was once a potter named Brown
Who swam in the river and drowned
His wife wanted pottery made in his memory
But the municipality constructed an aviary

To this day Brown’s ghost does frown!

5.She was a beauty, but was a little stout
Her eyes were dark, but the lips had a pout
Her left arm was longer than her right
And to the children, she gave a fright

She looked like she would die of gout


6.In the town of Bloomsbury
Was contested the annual Derry
The people from Derry Town
Thought those from Bloomsbury were clowns

Aloud they laughed and downed a sherry!

Il Famiglia

Don Corleone once famously remarked to Johnny Fontano “A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.”

As I approach the end of my ‘Sojourn’ at SCMHRD, I am time and again transferred back down the memory lane. I remember the petrified me, who arrived 8 days after college had started to find that people had already made groups, and I had been excluded from most of them thanks to my late arrival… I remember people studying day in and day out, and the ‘poor’ me hesitating to ask these busy bodies how to get things done…. I remember being silenced in classes by the sheer brilliance of my peers and wondering how could I ever get stuck in a place like this… And then Miracles happened!

I became acquainted, slowly and gradually, with a group of people who couldn't have been more unlike each other.... There were some who loved to pfaff, to others who went solely by logic.... Some who worked hard to others who couldn't care less about hard work.... Some were the fashionable types while others were the athletic variety... From the shortest to the tallest... From the thinnest to the broadest... This bunch of people was one group who could never have gotten together!

But fortunately they did.... And what did result?... Chaos you say, Or do you say Bliss?.... Well, partly both... From random on the spot trips to the most exotic and unknown places... To the endless discussions on why Food should not be had in the mess and ordered from outside... From laughing at each other for being the fools we are... To being there whenever needed... From bitching about each other (often in the other person's presence) to supporting the virtues of the 'Family' member in front of others... We have done it all!

From organizing Birthday Parties (where the cake has been cut even before others could arrive), to completely forgetting Birthdays... From lavish Presents to Chindhi stuff gifted aeons after the occasion, We are barely perfect... But I think we are together, what none of us individually can ever be!

Here is to all the great people who made this college bearable,and these last two years the most enjoyable period of my life... This 'FAMILY' rocks!

50!

It is indeed an epoch making event in the history of this blog as I publish what is going to be the 50th post!.... What began as an innocuous little experiment of self expression and creativity on the 6th of November 2007 has now survived almost 15 months and 9 days to reach this glorious moment!....I suppose it is time to take a walk down the memory lane!

The first post had something to do with the sense of relief that had come about with the end of Sem I. There was this nothingness about everything as I moved about my place, with no clear sense of direction, no deadlines and a general ever-pervading sense of aimlessness... It was this aimlessness that gave rise to the first post relating to the sense of freedom and liberation from the labour camp that this college then was!This 'prose' style of writing evolved to include super-short stories (The night), self-depreactory articles that I hoped others would find humorous (Cricekting Foibles) and general coverage of interesting experiences (Munger Diaries, PIFFing away to glory etc. etc.)

And then came about the great evolution
From prose to verse, now that was a Revolution!

The next post that followed still hovered around the subject of life at college, but by then, emboldened by the publication of my 'poetic wonders' in the college magazine, I ditched prose and went in for prose. Little did I know then, that this ridiculous and almost senseless construction of sentences (which I still call 'Poetic Wonders') would become such an important feature of my blog! So, much so, that much to my consternation and embarrassment, several people started bombarding such 'Poetic Posts' with hate-comments and several others privately beseeched me to stop tormenting the innocent world with such 'abhorrent' pieces of 'literature' (I hope you are reading Simonti, and I hope you rot in hell :P ). This 'style' of writing became synonymous with such 'masterpieces' as Mrs. Buxton's tale, Anna's song etc.)

The post that followed became another feature of this blog- My commentary of contemporaneous International Political Scene. What began with a scathing criticism of Bush over his handling of Musharraf, soon expanded to cover my take on International Issues. Viewers have been more than kind about my ability to analyze these subjects (Thank You Rohit and Kashmo), but there have been several others who see these posts as nothing more than pretentious display of unintersting facts! (Once more Damn you Simonti!)

Now, that the walk down the memory lane has more or less been completed, I would like to list down my personal favorites! These awards shall be known as the MOCKERS!

1.) Category 1- 'Simple Prose': The nominations for 'Simple Prose' are-

• Cricketing Foibles
• The night
• Delhi Diary
• And, Munger Diaries I

And the Mocker goes to (Trumpet.........) THE NIGHT!....(Applause....Applause....Screams of joy...!)

2.) Category 2- 'Poetic Wonders': The nominations for 'Poetic Wonders' are-

• An Ode to the times gone by
• Holier than thou
• Mrs. Buxton's tale
• And, NEEV '08

And the winner of the Mocker in this category is (Trumpet...) HOLIER THAN THOU!....(Applause....Applause....Screams of joy...!)

3.) Category 3- 'Political Commentary'- And the nominations are-

• Daughter of the East No more
• Mystical Maroon
• Holy Land Unholy War
• End of the US

And the chosen one for the Mocker in the category 'Political Commentary' is (Trumpet...) END OF THE US!...(Applause....Applause....Screams of joy...!)

4.) Category 4- 'Top of the Blog'- And the nominations are-

• Cricketing Foibles
• The night
• Munger Diaries
• Holier than thou
• An ode to the times gone by

And the Mocker of the Mockers award goes to...................... 'Cricketing Foibles'.....(Trumpet.....Standing Ovation..... Applause....Tears in eyes!)

I would also like to make use of this occasion to thank all my friends who have tolerated my senseless writings and my pings on Gtalk forcing them to read.

Thank you all..... I hope your sufferings will not be diminished and that I shall continue to hurl heaps of meaningless, wasteful posts at you in the days to come!

Fall of Pakistan!

With situation getting out of control in much of Pakistan and amidst fears of Rawalpindi intervening sooner rather than later to 'restore the rule of law', there is a genuine concern in many parts of world, especially in the sub-continent as to what future holds for Pakistan.

For a state founded on hatred and malice, Pakistan has fared relatively well until now. The beginnings of doom for Pakistan were laid, I believe, when it chose to forsake the liberal-secular garb of a modern nation-state that Jinnah wished to drape over this fledgling state. Jinnah's death, followed by the 'On-Off' democracy ensured that Pakistan never had a long-term strategy for its own evolution. The Army meddled in Civilian affairs as and when it pleased, and the Politicians, not unlike the feudal lords, waited in the sidelines. Allah, was the unifying factor that lead to the birth of the existence, soon became omnipresent and overbearing. Liberal Sufi traditions were bulldozed to pave the way for a rabid extremist state. Tacit support for promoting militancy across it own borders meant that Pakistan ended up creating a Frankenstein, without realizing so.

Pakistan's geo-poltical location has also contributed to the state it is in. Sandwiched between the Soviet empire to the north (that gobbled up Afghanistan in '78), a Soviet Sympathetic India and a fanatical and a venemous Islamic Iran, Pakistan tried in vain to reap the best out of the unflinching US support. With billions of dollars at its disposal, the Pakistani army, produced jehadis with an assembly-line efficiency and hurled them at the Soviets and India. With the Soviets gone, and the 'Jehad' in India turning out to be a stalemate, these radicals turned on Pakistan and its Liberal-Democratic institutions. Democracy, which had never flourished in Pakistan, increasingly succumbed to the whims of these barbarians.

Now, coming to the question. Is Pakistan's fall imminent any time soon? In spite of the volatile situation, the answer is hard to arrive at. Inspite of having sucessfully assumed all the trappings of a falied state, Pakistan still has a substantial middle class, that has hope, faith and belief in a strong Pakistan. Although, this constituency is slowly and steadily getting radicalized, there is stil some hope for Pakistan. Unfortunately for Pakistan though, this middle class is concentrated solely in the 'wealthy' provinces of Punjab and Sindh. Hence, there have already been rumblings of dissent and secession in impoverished Baluchistan, but the heavily armed Pakistani army has been successfully stifling all such tendencies. NWFP has already been lost to the Taliban and should anyways, logically speaking, be a part of Afghanistan, as it is demogaphically more contiguous with it and became a part of British- India by means of coercion and deceit. The end of Pakistan will have become certain when Sindhis, long oppressed by their 'cousins' in Punjab rise up against the tyranny of the central government, for only then will Pakistan die once and for all. This did happen once in the early 80s, but the sentiment has never been as strong since.

Anyways, if Pakistan was but a grand noble thought to liberate all of India's Muslims from the Oppressive tyranny of the Subcontinent's majority Hindu Community, then the thought is long dead. If the creation of Bangladesh was a near-fatal blow, then the collapse of Pakistan would forever bury this wicked idea!

Reasons why people don't play HOLI! And Reasons why people do!

Reasons why people don't play Holi!

1. Oof Baba...All these chemicals naa...They are so bad for my skin.. It bursts into rashes and itches and all naa.... My skin naa...It doesn't let me play Holi... Otherwise toh Holi is my favourite festival!
   
2. Arrey lekin ye skin pe colour accha nahi lagta... Its like we are aborgines or tribals. Ye kaunsa festival hai ki bhoot ban kar sadak pe khelo?
   
3. Arrey these ladka log naa... Total hoodlums they are... Kuch zyada hi masti hoti hai inko... Its not safe naa...for us to go out in 'hostile' environment
   
4. Baba...Its just soo dirty.... Look at them... Covered in Kichad and all... I toh can't let that happen to me
5. I am old now... I don't do all these childish things.. What fun comes out of dirtying yourself and then struggling to remove that colour?
6. I have an exam/meeting tomorrow... I can't possibly go looking like a monkey.
   

Reasons why people DO!

1. Arrey Bhai...Ek hi din toh milta hai.... Is budhape me bhi bachpan ki yaad aa jati hai! Woh bhi din they!
2. Arrey finally aaj hum dono saath enjoy kar sakte hain... Warna uska khadoos baap naa... Body guard ban kar baitha rehta hai!
3. Beta, Holi humari sanskriti ka abhinn hissa hai... Hum nahi khelenge toh kya woh firangi holi khelenge...Woh goriya toh mar hi jayengi itna rang dekh kar!
4. Aa jaa Bachhoo, bahut pange le raha tha naa mere se... Aaj toh he will be covered in Cow dung... Thats my promise!
5. Boss ko thoda rang laga doonga toh muft ki mithai bhi mil jayegi... Waise bhi Sohan Holi nahi khelta, yehi chance hai apna Promotion pakka karne ka!
6. Arrey dekho toh zara, ye padosiyon ne toh nayi nayi whitewashing karvayi hai... Our place toh looks like a jhuggi in front of theirs... Is baar toh Holi unhi ke ghar pe manayenge.. We can't let their place look better than ours... Mere rishtedaar kya kahenge?
7. Oof maa...Ye saas ki kit kit ne toh jeena dushwaar kar rakha hai... Main toh kehti hoon, seedha aankh aur mooh me rang ke naam pe lal mirch dal dena chahiye... Naa kuch dikhega... Naa Kuch bol payegi Budhiya!

HAPPY HOLI!