Wednesday, September 29, 2010
All in God's name!
18 years ago, one fine winter morning, a group of religious zealots/activists (depending on which side you support) brought down an old decrepit structure which had been under lock and key until very recently, provoking a series of deadly riots that this nation on fire. Communal discord isn't exactly new to India, I mean, that is what we are known for... That is why India and Pakistan came into existence, but since 1947, till 1992, riots were usually confined to one city or a state and were swiftly brought under control, if the government of the day felt the need. All of this changed in 1992... The destruction of the Mosque provoked a wave of communal unrest that took weeks to control and forever altered the socio-cultural fabric of the country.
I don't think it is fair to question the assumption, as is the practice among modern secular-liberal classes, if Lord Ram was born in Ayodhya or if indeed he was a "real" person. I think it is grossly unfair to treat the Hindus as a rag tag group of superstitious silly people whose beliefs need not be valued since they are not a cohesive group. Likewise, India is not a Hindu nation, inspite of an obvious Hindu majority and accordingly, it is absolutely detestable to suggest that one can ride roughshod over the sentiments of a minority community by demolishing Mosques/Gurudwaras/Churches. All this having been said, the courts are all set to deliver a verdict that will most probably deepen the fissures that already exist between the Hindu and Muslim communities. The Administration sits in a state of suspended animation, expecting the worst and hoping for the best.
The question I wish to ask is, Is it all really worth it? I mean, I for one, refuse to believe that any Hindu God would choose to reside in a place that is the source of so much bloodshed and misery. Likewise, Allah for sure would have forsaken a place that represents Hell on earth. Being able to Install a few idols and worshipping them or reconstructing the Mosque might imply symbolic victory for either community, but in spiritual terms, does it really mean anything? Probably, all Indians would be benefitted better if there were a hospital/orphanage/civic center constructed in its place. I am sure,even God would dwell in such a place. Let bygones be bygones... A Ram temple was demolished by a Muslim invader who constructed a Mosque in his own name which was destroyed by Hindu reactionaries more than 5 centuries later. Historical wrongs (if that is what they are) have already been "righted". A temple to Ram anywhere else, would honour his majesty and grandeur equally.... So would a Mosque in Kashmir or Kerala.
It is time to grow up and cognize for who we are. We are not Rwandans or some silly West African tribe, forever baying for Blood. We are not Hindus, or Muslims or Christians or Sikhs. We are the progenies of a proud tribe of people who made their mark on the world stage. We are the inheritors of a proud, glorious and a cultured past. And we owe it to our future generations to keep it that way.
Jai Hind!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Chill Maadi- An extract from Kalmadi's daily diary
I am so pissed at that good for nothing Fennel today... How dare he say that the conditions at the CWG Village were unfit for human habitation! I have been there at least 53 times, and I have always seen daily labourers blissfully urinating, defecating or sleeping in those rooms. Why, at least 7 of the 223 "Paan Pichkaris" were made by me when I was competing with Mr. Gill... Ah! What a glorious moment that was, it won me some 200 rupees as well!... So how dare Fennel say that the conditions at the village were unhygienic!!! I mean a couple of stray dogs here and there might have pooped (in the western style lavatories, mind you!), all that these firangs need to do was to flush it!... I mean do they really need to stare at the shithole!
Personally I feel, we should leave the commonwealth... I mean, Pratibha Patil is as good as Queen Elizabeth... And enough of these foreign white-skinned rascals!, don't they act pricey... lets invite the Africans, possibly some pacific states, add Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Afghanistan to the list... And Brava! There you have it... A superb international assembly of the finest sportspersons in the world!... Plus, India will have a real good chance to finally win some medals...And, they won't mind relieving themselves in Sulabh Shauchalayas or even in the nature... We can feed them rotis and pyaaz and they'll be over the moon!....
I don't know why the media still hates me.... I mean, I've not taken any bribes for 2 whole days now, and even as I write this, I am refusing to take a 2% cut in supremely overpriced tissue paper rolls and yet they continue to spew venom against me! So what if I made a couple of millions of rupees... Don't I deserve it? A man my age must be taken care of by the government, and here I am... Going from vendor to vendor... Contractor to contractor... artificially inflating prices... devising the formulae for commission, ensuring all ministers' relatives get some contracts and yet they blame ME!... How unfair can the world be!
So what the tiles fell from the ceiling the other day, or the collapse of the footbridge... Is it really that big a deal.... Who is going to notice 2 missing tiles! and how about crossing the road for a change!... Why do you need the overbridge? These delhiites too get on my nerves...especially that old hag... Sheila Dixit... Does she have nothing better to do than sit and supervise MY work?... How about applying ointment to her arthritic knees... I gave her full 30% of my earnings and yet she criticizes me... And that ageing bearded buffoon... He's already clipped my wings enough and yet he continues to entertain my foes!... I thought he belonged to my Party!
Last of all, let me spend one paragraph expressing my hatred towards Mani Shankar Aiyer!... That clown revealed my plan to the world even as I was hatching it and all because I wouldn't give let him win the "Paan ki Pichkari" contest! Had it not been for him, I wouldn't have had to start behaving efficiently so soon... I'd probably even have made a couple of million more rupees!
Anyways... I have done my bit for the glory of the erstwhile British Empire... God save the Queen and her Commonwealth....
Suresh Kalmadi
Monday, August 16, 2010
Posthumous-I
I took my life today. Frankly, I had had enough… I felt that my soul was ‘dying’ to break free of the shackles that bound it to my body. This aimless, purposeless existence was too much to take and so I decided to end my life. I did for a moment ponder over my decision, which would undoubtedly be viewed as cowardly and most certainly irreligious, but then, I just couldn’t take it anymore. What was the point trying to live as ‘Captains Courageous’ in front of a world that just didn’t matter? And what was the point trying to live for a God that had most certainly abandoned me totally? And so, I decided to end my life.
I thought of means, both old and new to accomplish the task at hand. All of a sudden, my life had a purpose, a motive and I realized it was this ‘kick’ that I had been waiting for, all my life. I thought of hanging myself by the fan, but discarded the idea as soon as it crept into my head. It would be too painful, I thought… And imagine the sight that would greet the people who’d discover me this way… Eyes protruding outwards… Neck tilted on one side… And I was pretty sure that I my tongue would also loll outwards… Certainly not a very pretty sight… Next option was to sever the vein on the hand and bring an end to this futile existence. But then, It would once again be messy… My body lying in a pool of blood, writhing with agony… And what if I couldn’t take the pain and wanted to reverse my decision?... Where would that leave me?... This option too was discarded… Head on the rail tracks would ruin my face totally… And what if it was this face that I would have to carry about in the afterlife?... Idea dropped…
I finally settled on poisoning myself to death… Anyways, life had become a poison that I had been drinking for 25 years of my sordid existence… Why not end life the same way?... That inconspicuous bottle of phenyl, in the corner of the bathroom would open the door of the ‘Other world’… I was certain that I would go to hell, but was equally sure that Hell would be better than this continued existence… That one bottle of phenyl would drown all my sins and cleanse me once and for all…
Presently, I opened the bottle of phenyl… My mind was made up… there was not one bit of hesitation… I felt calm and at ease with myself… And then, I gulped down the liquid… I have to admit, It didn’t taste good at all… rather, It tasted quite bad actually… If I had a chance, I would have preferred to die by cutting off the vein, but anyways I labored on… I drank almost half the bottle, before the burning sensation in the throat made it impossible for me to continue. My throat singed… it burnt… And I think that’s what did me in… I think I died when that pungent liquid seared my throat…I saw myself in the mirror for the last time… And for the first time, understood the meaning of ‘Deathly pallor’… And just for record’s sake, images from my life did not zip past me as I was expecting… Before long, I was no more…
And yet, for some strange reason, I was… I was right there… In front of my own limp and lifeless form… I could see my old self and yet I couldn’t see my new self… I was still in front of the mirror and yet the mirror refused to return my reflection!... I tried to touch the mirror, but it was a strange experience… While I could touch it, I couldn’t sense it… My hands, it seemed, had gone numb… Maybe, that is what it felt like to be dead… Maybe, this was my soul, formless, yet full of life!...
All of a sudden, everything went dark…I mean pitch dark…and I felt as though I was being sucked through vacuum, which was weird because I certainly wasn’t moving and the distance between me and my lifeless body was still the same… I guess, the closest word I can use to describe the sensation is “Splinched” as in ‘people getting splinched while “disapparating” in Harry Potter books… It certainly was very painful and it was giving me a terrible headache, which again was weird because this was unlike the usual ‘headaches’… It was more like something was being sucked out through my skull…Soon though, all the darkness dissipated and there was clear light… Crystal clear…Light that was purest of pure and whitest of white…
I guessed this was where they delivered the verdict on one’s life… I was sure I had been assigned to hell and was more or less resigned to my ‘fate’… Presently, a voice addressed me… It seemed to be coming from far far away and yet seemed to be clear… It announced a small snapshot of my life, my sins & my virtues and asked me one wish that it would not deny to me… I had been waiting for this chance since my death… All I wanted was to be with my body till it was disposed of… And this is exactly what I told the mysterious voice… My wish was granted and once again the “Splinching” feeling returned… Light disappeared and darkness took its place and in a moment’s time I was back in my room, facing my lifeless form…
-to be continued (hopefully)
Saturday, July 24, 2010
The Fall!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Das Leben der anderen (The lives of others)
Imagine a stage...and imagine an audience, waiting with bated breath for your next performance. You are still in the silhouette as the other actor finishes his part and then Zoom... the spotlight falls on you... You suddenly realize you'd never rehearsed for your part... You are just walking down the stage and the audience are furiously scripting down your every move... Ever muscle that twitches in your body, every eye lid that flaps.... Are you playing out the script or are your actions creating the script?
Now imagine this, There is no stage.... there is no audience... You are on your own... the stage was merely your life... and the audience was the Big Brother... Watching your every move... And keeping detailed records of what you thought was an otherwise dull and mundane life... From the moment you wake up to the moment your day comes to an end, you're being watched, and at times followed...The big brother knows it all....
Every word that you utter against the state.... It may be a silly joke shared with friends... or a serious intellectual discussion... will be noted down and will shape your future. Your almost certain promotion will be denied because of that one off the cuff remark. Your file will be marked "Uncertain Loyalty to the state". Your so-far perfect life will start falling apart...The Medical college that your son dreamed of, will be denied to him... Your wife will complain of how her former friends are avoiding her... And before you know it.... Life will become un-liveable, absolutely purposeless... Nothing to look forward to.... You'll feel stifled, uncertain....Will you be able to trust anyone? Will you be able to live with your head held high?.... Probably No... What will life be then, if not a colorless deserted landscape, with you in the centre, surrounded by barrenness...
Das Leben der Anderen (The Lives of others) is a 2006 German movie that follows the lives of East Germans as they lived under the ever vigilant and watchful eye of the National State Security (Stasi). There was at least 1 Stasi agent for every 6.5 East German citizens and the Stasi lived up to their motto of being the "Schild und Schwert der Partei" (Shield and Sword of the (Communist) Party). The book Stasiland by Anna Funder, explores further and lays bare the daily lives of East Germans as they lived their lives, never trusting anyone and always fearing everyone.
The fate of the denizens in other Communist countries was no different. From across East Europe, to the Soviet Continent, to China, Vietnam, North Korea, Cuba et al, there lay a complex web of espionage directed by the state against its own citizens. Things would fall in place if your political principles matched that of the state. Deviate and suffering was inevitable...
Let me end with an East German joke, that would have caused the downfall of God-knows how many
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bhopal Gas Farce!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
An India Forgotten!

Saturday, June 5, 2010
Murder most foul!

Condemned by every syllable she utters
By right she should be taken out and hung,
For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue..."'
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Red Zone
It has been a while since nondescript places like Jhargram and Dantewada made their way into our lexicon for all the wrong reasons. What were to most Indians, random, remote locations in some Godforsaken part of the country have now suddenly been thrust into the limelight. For that, if nothing else, one must sincerely thank the Maoists. They have undone what the Indian State has been trying to do for the last 60 years of its sordid existence, forget that these places exist or their inhabitants are worth anything at all...
The Naxal Problem is not a new phenomenon, nor is it something which has stumped the government out of the blue. Naxalism is in fact a very Indianized form of what the whole world calls a Communist Insurrection. The fact that 1/3rd of India is now a part of the so called Red Corridor where the writ of the Government doesn't run is what makes the matter very serious. Add to it the fact that the so-called peoples' revolutionaries have sworn to overthrow the Indian State and institute a Soviet/Chinese style Peoples' Government in its place. And lets be honest about it, that is the sole reason why you suddenly have Politicians denouncing the Maoists. They represent a strong challenge to the virtually unchallenged authority of the Indian State.
The Maoists have become Revolutionaries for all the right reasons. It would not be incorrect to say that revolutionaries have been made out of unwilling people by the Indian State. When the state refuses to recognize your existence, how else can you make it listen to your voice. The answer is, by pinching the state where it hurts the most-Throw grenades at convoys of soldiers, derail a few trains here & there, denounce the state and call for its overthrow. If attention is what the Maoists desired, then one must applaud their attempts. They have done a good job. While none can dispute the end (Development of backward areas), the means to attain the goal are certainly open to question.
For a moment, consider the precarious position the government finds itself in. Its writ has ceased to run in one-third of the country. The fact that it and it alone represents the will of the people is being constantly undermined. Bombings, extortion and murder have devastated the otherwise calm & peaceful country-life. It may choose to respond with force, and let their be no doubt, The power of the state will triumph and crush the rebels, but the victory would certainly be pyrrhic.
The Maoists represent the weakest of the weak and the poorest of the poor. These people deserve to be represented and their voices heard. If only the Naxals can retain their political idealism and deploy it democratically, the downtrodden would be immensely benefitted.
None can deny the past wrongs of the state, but never have 2 wrongs made a right. The Maoists need to realize this. The State on its part must push for progress and equitable development. That is the only permanent solution to what would otherwise be a devastating conflict.






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