Subbu!

This post is dedicated wholly and solely to the biggest tyrant in the history of this democratic nation- Subbu... As the countdown to the last few days at the college ticks off, here is a trip down the memory lane, with exclusive focus on Subbu and Subbuisms...

1. Subbu doesn't like to be wished Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening. If however you choose to do so, you are wholly ignored while he walks past you, his lips pursed, and his face expressionless...
2. Subbu loves to act pricey in his cabin... he'll have you summoned there and then rave and rant over a non-issue.... If you try to put your point across, He'll shut his ears and yell...I don't wanna hear it! Get lost! You've flunked!
3. Subbu loves to do his theatrics in front of an audience.... He'd use the choicest words to insult and humiliate... These words can be as plain as a**hole, Idiot etc. or may take teh form of more complex sentences like "Where are your balls?", "GPL padna chahiye" etc. etc.
4. Subbu has an emotional spying network. What I mean by that is, no sooner do you feel elated about something that you get the much dreaded call from Subbu... These sessions end with phrases like" You are flunking"..."Get out of this college"... "Stop Bullshitting here"...
5. Subbu, not unlike our beloved Bush, comes up with phraseologies that are unique to his person.. So, Post summers, SCMHRD became an "Academy", where talent was being nurtured, and wherefrom you'd be expelled, if your performance was shoddy...
6. One fine day, when you get selected for a committee, you go visit Subbu as a formality... He asks you "Where are your pants?".... Lookin down really doesn't help.... I can bet even he doesn't know what he means!
7. Another time, a US Academician is being given a tour of the college... She is told that the budget of NEEV is $5 mn...We readily concur in front of the guest...Later calculations prove that dear beloved Subbu has dropped a zero!
8. Another comic incident happened when a prominent corporate leader visited the campus... Subbu in order to please this prominent guest, called a batch meet where he demanded a bunch of beautiful girls who'd wear backless and parade themselves in front of the guest!....That fortunately didn't happen, but Subbu made sure there were enough coconuts on the stage so that the guest could relate to his corporation...
9. If Subbu was anything to go by, Britannia would have by now become a part of ITC ltd...
10. Once during Diwali break, a team of people were hanging around in the NEEV room... Subbu drops in for a long chit chat.. Goes back to his cabin and returns a little while later, with a 1.5L bottle of Pesi, which he jovially throws at the tiniest member of the team... Poor soul survived as did her ribs!
11. One has to be present at Subbu's batch Meets to appreciate his focus on Learning and how he enforces it... Suffice it to say that it is insanely funny!
12. Subbu is the smartest during the Placement Season.... Perfectly-coiffured hair, Drak shirt that makes his skin tone look lighter, a pair of trousers that don't get along with his shirt and long pointed shoes...Subbu glides along from corridor to corridor, room to room, trying to lure the recruiters into take in a couple more!

There certainly is lots more to dear old Subbu and his Subbuisms...Can't think of anymore right now.. Do chip in if you can remember more!