Ole Ms Gandhi

Ole Ms Gandhi had a farm 

E I E I O
And on that farm was Quattrocchi
E I E I O
An embezzlement here... And a big fraud there
Here a fraud... There a fraud... Everywhere fraud fraud

Ole Ms Gandhi had a farm 

E I E I O

And on that farm was Jagdish Tytler

E I E I O

A sikh killed here... And a surd down there

Here a Sikh... There a Sikh... Everywhere Sikh Sikh

Ole Ms Gandhi had a farm 

E I E I O

And on that farm was Narsimha Rao

E I E I O

A mosque down here... And a blast down there

Here a blast... There a blast... Everywhere blast blast

Ole Ms Gandhi had a farm 

E I E I O

And on that farm was Congress Party

E I E I O

An ass licker here... And a Sycophant there...

Here a lick... There a lick... Everwhere lick lick

Ole Ms Gandhi had a farm

E I E I O

Clash of the Titans

Advani called him a PM weak
Someone who was shy and meek
Who dug his head into the ground
instead of tackling problems all around

Manmohan said it is not about oratory
There, the efforts of my opponent are quite laudatory
But mark my words, I will not be found
Weeping in a corner while a mosque is razed to the ground

Advani was stunned, left close to tears
I've never been insulted, not in all these years
Look, who is pointing finger at me
The one who hides behind Sonia's Saree

Manmohan was incensed, outraged was he
Enough is enough, now this I can't let be
This Jinnah worshipper is off his rocker
He didn't know of Kandahar, now is that proper?

Advani knew now that he'd lost the war
Humbly he said, This is taking matters too too far
The worst I ever said was that the PM was weak
And I get profanities and invectives hurled by that freak!

And thus came to a close the clashof Titans
With none vanquished, but one certainly enlightened
They say, Never take your foe too lightly
For, even if they be quiet, they can be quite Sprightly!

Qissa Kursi Ka!

Dilli pe kaun raj karega?
Satta ka kaun swaad chakhega?
Satta ke galiyare aatur
Kursi ki kaun shaan banega?

Kya fir Manmohan ki hai baari?
Yaa hai Sonia ko satta pyaari?
Kya Rahul aagey aayenge?
Aur is desh ko bachayenge?

Kya ye janata chahti hai?
Nirnayakta Advani ko Bhaati hai
Kya Raj Yog ye chakh Payenge?
Yaa sapne inke dah jayenge?

Lakhnau gir chuka hai bhaiyya
Kya ab Dilli ki baari hai?
Haathi par Bharat Bhraman ko Nikli
Yeh behen Mayawati ki sawaari hai

Madras me bhi hai halchal
Aur Jayalalitha bhi hain chanchal
Kya unke sar par chadhega taj?
Kya woh karengi Dilli se Raj?

Idhar Paswan de rahein hain Chanakya ko maat
Congress, Bhajpaa se inhone toda saath?
Sarkar agli toh yehi banayenge
Chauthey Morchey ko yeh Jitvayenge?

Laloojee ka bhi hai ye naara
Sarkar banane ka irada hamara
Patna ka toh bahut sukh bhoga
Dilli toh ab Hamra hoga!!

Bangaal me bhi nayi kranti hai chayee
Vaam Dalon ko satta khoob bhayee
Manmohan se chale woh karne do do haath
Janata ka ye maangey saath!

Kaun banega Pradhan Mantri Agla?
Kya koi Yug Purush ya koi Pagla?
Kaun Janata ki kausati par khara utar payega?
Yeh bhaut jald pata chal jayega

(Boot)ilicious!

Guess what has been making news headlines these days?... Yes, You got it right!... SHOES... rather SHOE(s)... Be it the Reebok Size 10 that was hurled famously at our Home Minister, or the Shoe hurled at Naveen Jindal by a drunk school principal... Oh and yes... Mirror, Mirror on the wall... Which Shoe is the most famous of them all? Indeed, the Shoe hurled by the Iraqi Journalist at George Bush!... Of course, he violated a basic rule of Shoe-Hurling, when he chose to pitch the other shoe when the first one missed its mark, but Hell, He was merely starting a glorious tradition, they hadn't laid down the rules then!!!

Anyways, since Shoe-Hurling is expected to become a basic tenet of our democratic tradition, I propose a list of politicians who should have shoes hurled at them. Now, the main point to be borne in mind is that only those who are famous will have shoes hurled against them... So, DO NOT be surprised if politicians come begging for shoes instead of votes in the near future... Anyways, Here goes the list-


1.) VAIKO- For Suggesting that India will break up into pieces lest Sri-Lankan Army offensive against the LTTE is not halted...

2.)Priyanka Gandhi Vadra- For suggesting that Rahul Gandhi should become the Prime Minister of the country... She deserves another shoe for upholding the political supremacy of her dyansty.

3.)Varun Gandhi- For the wondrous adjectives that he has hurled at the Muslims... Even Gandhi seems a frightening name now, doesn't it?

4.)Narendra Modi- For the Gudiya-Budiya statements... Just because the Congress is 125 years old, doesn't mean that it has leaders who are centenarians...

5.)Mulayam Singh Yadav- For his progressive and futuristic manifesto... The latest that I have heard is that People have started lining up for passports en masse, And that some parents have already admitted their wards in schools in the U.K and the U.S..

6.)Mayawati- For her Chanakyaniti, Her parochial thought process, her narrow mindedness and yet her never-ending dream of ruling from 7 RCR...

7.)Jagdish Tytler- For refusing to accept reality, pleading his innocence,and determinedly pressing on with his candidature in spite of the blood on his hands...

8.)Maneka Gandhi- For trying to play the Bhartiya Maa card when Mayawati put her ladla behind the bars....

9.)L K Advani- For refusing to let go of the Hindutva Ghost and beseeching the saadhus for their blessings...

10.)Prakash Karat- For still clinging on to the GRAND HOPE of a Non-Congress, Non-BJP led government... And clinging on to the dated Communist philosophy when the world has clearly moved on...

Holy Union!

|| Jai Shree Ram||

Bhartiya Janata Party
and
Sangh Parivar

of Bharat Hindu Ramrajya

Cordially invite and request the honour of the company of

Mrs. & Mr. ______________

To grace the occasion of the Wedding ceremony of

Narendra Modi (of Gujarat Riots Fame)

With

Varun Gandhi (of Pilibhit Hate Speech Fame)

on the 15th of May 2009, shortly after the proclamation of the victory of the Hindu Nationalist Bloc in the National Elections.

We sincerely hope that you would grace the occasion with your presence and bless the couple so that they may succeed in realizing their dreams of building the Ram Temple at Ayodhya and subsequently carrying out a general massacre of the anti-Hindu Muslim and Christian communities.

We implore you to not offer expensive material goods to the couple and merely present them with bricks engraved with the words "Sri Ram" that can serve the dual purpose of acting as foundation stones for the temple as well as weapons to hurl at the enemies of the Hindu Community

R.S.V.P
Bajrang Dal
Sri Ram Sene
Shiv Sena
Vishwa Hindu Parishad
Rashtriya SwayamSewak Sangh
and others
( E-Mail ID- downwithsecularism@deathtoindia.com)

Dirty Dancing!

It is once again the time to host the 'Once in Five yearly' charade known to each and every one of us as ELECTIONS.... Being the world's largest democracy is certainly no mean feat... In order to ensure that the title is retained year after year, it is necessary to 1.) Remain as close to a democratic form of government as possible, however enticing the other alternatives may be and, 2.) Maintain a high rate of population growth so as to be certain of the "Largest" tag....

Over the years, the cost of maintaining this Facade of democracy has come attached with a very expensive price tag... Billions of rupees are pushed down the drain so that the whole 'Process' appears "Free and Fair"... Another couple of millions are diverted to 'encourage' voters to cast their vote in favor of the highest paying Candidate... And Several crores have to be siphoned off for "Pre-Election Developmental Projects", which thanks to the shortage of time couldn't be completed in the course of the five year term.

Maintaining and Running a robust democracy like India also involves a great deal of Strategic Planning... Political Parties need to decide on the feasibility of provoking violence between communities to garner votes... Or they need to make a choice between castes that get to be nominated to the Hallowed List of SC/ST on the basis of the electoral gains that would accrue... Or they need to pit states against each other, hoping that any violent backlash would ameliorate their Political Fortunes...

Oh, and We must never overlook the growth in certain sectors of the economy, thanks to Elections... One of the sectors that grows exponentially during Election time, is the Arms Sector... After all, Candidates certainly need weapons to aid the electorate's decision making process... Alcohol industries also receive a boost thanks to the demands made by the throats of a parched electorate... And then there is the need for free clothing that needs to be supplied to the electorate so that clothing (or the lack of Good attire) does not impede the turnout at polling booths...

The grand principles on which the foundation of this state was laid have sadly been laid aside... Political battles are now fought on flimsy issues such as caste, religion etc. instead of Vision and national necessities.... Gone are the days when the masses used to look up to their leaders... Today, masses long for a leader who would rescue them and this nation...There is only one way to make change possible.. VOTE for Change... VOTE for a better India... VOTE for a better tomorrow....

Things I'll miss about Pune...

I have been to Pune at least twice before my 2 year stint at SCMHRD....But Pune never appealed to me as a city... The closest analogy I can think of is a man who is stuck between Youth and Old age...Pune is like a city seeking an identity for itself... Whether to be a Bombay- Cosmopolitan, Suave and chic... or to be an Indore- Cultural, Intellectual and very Indian....With the result that it hung around in the nether world- Trying to create a space for itself

Legend has it that only the most virtuous end up in Pune, (Hence the name Pune- “Punya Nagari’ i.e. The City of the Virtuous)... Umm... That might not be entirely true... But there certainly are enough reasons why Pune is one of the most fantastic and awesome places to stay in!

Memories of Pune that I will cherish forever-

1.)Fabulous Weather- Pune’s USP is its lovely weather… With the temperature hovering mostly around the 30s (except for almost 6 weeks of Fire blazing summers)… Pune is the ideal place to be in… Especially in Monsoons, when wet spells are followed by a cool breeze and not sultriness as is the case in Mumbai…winters are mild at the best… Cool enough to induce someone into the blanket, but pleasant enough to be off sweaters for most part of the day!

2.)Eateries- Pune has one of the best eating places that I have seen so far (Actually Bhopal hardly had any GOOD eating places, and I am yet to explore Delhi sufficiently to pass an expert comment, so…)… Once in Pune, do make it a point to visit the following places-
a.Chaitanya’s for Paranthas and Lassi
b.Manmeet / Kadhai/ Pasteur Dairy for Chaat
c.Shabari for aunthentic Marathi ‘Jewan’
d.11 East Street Café for Continental food
e.Tareef for the Kebabs
f.Hard Rock Café for you know what
g.Chowki Dhaani for delicious Rajasthani food
h.Good Luck Café for yummy Breakfast (specialties: Egg!)
i.Panchvati Gaurav/ Sahare for Gujarati Thaali
j.Polka Dots for continental
k.Idliccious for lip smacking South Indian Menu
l.Cad B/Mocha- For the mouth watering chocolate beverages!

3.)Places to visit- Pune is like a treasure trove for anyone with even the slightest inclination to travel… There are numerous places within the city that must be explored… These include-
a.ShaniwarWada- The Maratha Fort that served as the capital of the Maratha Empire
b.Parvati- the Temple on the hilltop… One can get a delightful view of Pune city from atop this place
c.Sinhgad Fort- The ‘invincible Fortress’ is situated on the top of a hillock and makes an interesting trek…
d.MG Road- For the street shopping and random eating…
e.FC Road- For the sheer number of eateries lined up!
f.Aundh- For random shopping and low budget eating

4.)Location- Pune is located on the other side of the Konkan and the Sahyadris and is close enough to all the major and minor tourist spots of the region viz.,
a.Harihareshwar and Diveagar beaches
b.Shirdi
c.Aurangabad, Ajanta and Ellora
d.Bhimashankar
e.GanpatiPule
f.Raigad
g.Mahabaleshwar
h.Matheran

5.)People- Pune is what it is thanks to its people… Indeed it is a microcosm of India… From the nouveau affluent IT professionals in their swank offices to the aajis and maushis in the streets. From the auto wallahs to the cab drivers…Pune is indeed made much more hospitable thanks to Puneites…

All in all… A great city to live in and a place that will be missed forever and ever more… “Sniff, Sniff”!!!