Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Munger Diaries II


Now that the new year has arrived and is comfortably settled... It is time to continue with the adventures in Mungeristan....Let me begin by highlighting some points

1. The national language of Mungeristan is incomprehensible Hindi...This varies from incomprehensibility arising out of addition of Bhojpuri, or in this case Angika words... or from the utterance of hyper pure sanskritized Hindi that was last used in schooldays... Either ways, to my ears, that have gotten used to a variety of apabramhshas...both are equally unintelligible! For starters, can you understand what does a person mean, when he says " Hum achambhit hain ki aapne humey samay nahi diya (does achambhit mean happy/sad/surprised/shocked)... ye atyant durbhagyapoorn hai"... Similary, I have also been lectured on my "Daayitva" and on certain "Vidambanaas"...

2. Geographically speaking, Mungeristan is situated somewhere in the middle of the Himalayas...That is the only way to explain why it is so cold here, when, technically, it is just 400 kms from Kolkata, where, from what I hear, people are still sweating... Biting cold is made worse by super cold winds that keep blowing day in & out.... and add to it the fact that I am now Vitamin D deficient, thanks to the lack of Sunshine for the
last 2 weeks...! It is so cold, that my facebook status message has been "brr brr cold cold" at least 5 times in the last 2 weeks...I have forgotten what it means to have warm fingers and toes... and when was the last time I didn't feel revolted at the thought of having to pee and then wash hands...

3. The national weapon of Mungeristan is a gun called "kattha"... It sells en masse here... People use it for a variety of purposes... It is the most favoured weapon of the kidnapper and the murderer... It also serves the purpose of self reliance in Mungeristan... Mungeristan is the single largest consumer of Katthas produced in Mungeristan...

4. The favorite pastime of people in Mungeristan is climbing towers... They climb towers early in the day and then refuse to climb down for hours at end... Atop the tower, where mobile signals are the clearest, they talk to their beloved.... Last heard, the government of Mungeristan was planning to tax tower climbing...

5. The favorite holiday destination of the citizens of Mungeristan is the city of Mungerabad... Located in the centre of Mungeristan, Mungerabad proudly boasts of 1 legal arms factory and a million illegal ones, 2 restaurants, 81 lakh gau shaalas & 1 movie theatre...The current rage in Mungeristan is the movie "Gayi bhaisaniya paniya me"... Also doing well is the action-thriller movie "Barood"...

Oh and also... I have finally shifted to a place of my own which implies that I am, after almost 6 months of or so, no longer, living out of a suitcase... Can anything else be more delightful!!

3 comments:

creativity@work said...

hahaha........ peeing in the cold;
i want to visit mungeristaan

Unknown said...

aashay: I sympathize with u.. btw what do you mean by a place of your own? aren't u in the co guest house? if not.. may be we all need to pray for your safety ;)

Aashay said...

@Creatvity@ work: Welcome Welcome!

@ Devinder: Place of 'your' own implies company acco... Guest House is temporary arrangement no :P